I have been found out for what I am;

I am alone in a world of my own making.

I am weak and frightened inside...

I hide behind strong words.

I failed at listening with my heart,

And thinking myself smarter than the rest,

Have done my best to defeat myself

With less than honest discourse.

Needing to be needed,

Wanting to be loved,

Unconditionally.

Loving

Conditionally,

Loving

Without feeling,

Feeling unlovable and different,

With walls and fears

built by pain and bitter words.

Feeling powerless, defenseless,

A child who hides from the monsters

That come in the night,

To seek out my fears,

And eat my mind

With screams of terror.

Ready to run,

To hide,

To seek love in any way I could.

To give that which I never had,

I was a child yet not a child,

The caretaker,

The strong one,

Depend on me I cried

When there was no one

That I could depend on

To love me,

Protect me

Touch me

So;

I may push you away,

Testing your love

Wanting all of it

yet,

risking it all.

Don't desert me in these moments...

for I love you

with all of my being.